Hello, it's me 🙃
It's been well over six months since my last blog post. That makes it almost eight months since dad transitioned from the earthly realm to the spiritual realm. I'd be lying if I said I'm good. I mean, I most certainly have more good days than not but I so truly miss my dad.
I experienced my first birthday without getting a call or a card from him. That was hard but it totally helped to have spent that evening video chatting with my oldest sons and my mom. I also started counseling over the summer. I really like the therapist I found. I never realized how bandaged my trauma & life experiences were until working with her.
In working on the in between session assignments, I've discovered how much “on go” or busy I've made myself my entire adult life. It has been a subconscious way of avoiding facing the thoughts and emotions I've experienced particularly during really hard times in my life.
As a result, I've recently made the difficult decision to be more intentional with my time by not allowing myself to do things to stay busy with keeping my plate full. I used to pride myself in being able to commit to doing so many things inside and outside of home and work. Well not anymore. I've been on a personal/professional sabbatical or respite. All of my business endeavors & extra curricular activities are on hold.
I plan to use the foreseeable future to rest and reflect on the many things I have suppressed over the last 20+ years. I may or may not resume the activities and endeavors that have kept me so busy. This time will focus on getting closer to God, being still, and giving myself the time to journey through grieving and honoring my loved ones who have passed and honoring the parts of me that have been lost.
I hope you'll join me as I make a conscious effort to write about this experience and how God continues to show up. It's going to be a bumpy but great ride!
“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
