It's been a month since I turned the big 4-0. I was told several times leading up to and even after my birthday how freeing being 40 is. That the 40s was a fave age period. I have to say that it has been everything I was told and more. I've come to see that when grief and joy touch, there's beauty in between.

Saw How Are You Healing as the name of an album recently. I initially read it as how are you feeling? 🤔 Upon reading it again and realizing what it really asked, it instantly had a powerful, pondering effect on me.

The minutes, hours, days, weeks, and now months have been an interesting journey since his passing. I knew of no other grief like this before his passing. Leaning into God, His word, and the people He has placed in my life has been a saving grace. The relationship with my siblings has been strengthened and my faith has increased. I'll be navigating these uncharted waters of grief probably for the rest of my life. God willing, I'll continue to lean into his promises and grieve in healthy ways until the day I step into eternal deliverance in Jesus.

Oddly enough, looking back I've come to realize the experiences before and after such huge losses are there to help you grow. However, that growth can be severely hindered when we're stuck in the darkness not feeling through the feelings. It's very important to slow down and process exactly what you're feeling. Otherwise the darkness will swallow you whole.